Today’s letter comes from Kyle Roommate. Kyle writes:
Dear Cosmo,
Thank you for your wonderful blog. It is teaching me much, including some really valuable life skills. And recipes, I love the recipes. Anyhoo, I was hoping you could lend me some advice on how to vanquish one of my particularly dastardly foes. Dogroomate Maple has completely taken over my apartment and has negatively effected the mood with her surprisingly audible stretching and extraordinarily loud yawns. I tried your icy stare magic trick, but to no avail. Help me, Cosmo internet roommate, you’re my only hope.
Well, Kyle Roommate, you’re in luck, because I have a special recipe just for you!
RECIPE FOR REVENGE
Ingredients: rage, gasoline
Instructions
Anonymously collect all of Dog Roommate’s belongings. Generously apply gasoline. Ignite. When Dog Roommate enters, stand behind fire menacingly.
Hope I helped!
